grumble

Christ, I am so grumpy tonight. Actually, I have been for a couple weeks now. Really bitchy. It's a charming combination of bitchy and depressed. I don't know where this mood came from, but I hope it goes away soon. The other night, I sent this email to my friend Kathy. Well, this is only a portion of it, as there were some things in the original that are not fit for public viewing. ;) But this portion looks exactly as it did in that email:

Damn it. I can't sleep. It's after 3 am, and I have to get up at 9 to get ready for work, and I have been lying in bed for at least an hour and a half now, but I can't go to sleep. I hate that. Even if my alarm wasn't set to go off at some point, I'd hate this because it's just annoying. I can't stop thinking about a million things all at once. You know, the usual shit I bitch about these days: I hate Florida. I'm homesick for Cincinnati and--unbelievably--St. Louis. I'm pissy that it's going to be fall soon, the time of year I live for, but I have to miss it this year. I think Murphy is also unhappy. I hate the president. I hate the vice-president. I don't believe there were terrorist attacks plotted from heathrow airport the other day---I think it's a conspiracy to scare us all back into submission. Even though he's a democrat, I hate Joe Lieberman and I'm glad the connecticut dems see him for the weasel he is and didn't want him anymore either. I need to exercise. I need to do laundry. I hate that my weird neuroses and apparent inability to lead a normal stable life also make it hard for me to get enough time with the people I really want and need in my life. I need to get my oil changed asap. I'm getting a pimple on my jaw.

That pretty acurately summed up my state of mind then and now. Oh, and this evening I sent a rather snarky email to my ex, essentially reminding her of how unhappy she made me when she dumped me. There was no reason for me to do that, especially since I'm really ok about all that now. We've been getting along so well lately and being very mature in our correspondence, but for some reason, tonight I was rather unpleasant to her in an email. Guess I'm just not in the mood to take that high road.